Having a strong presence doesn't require an outgoing personality. A quiet person can still have good presence. People with a strong presence turn heads for all the right reasons when they enter the room. But we do not want to demand attention, but others to notice us.
Meetings and greetings
The handshake
Handshake is sign of respect. Extend your right hand to shake the other persons right hand. The handshake should be firm, but not aggressive.
The Air Kiss
The air kiss is what we do socially, and generally not in a formal situation. We touch cheeks, but very gently. The lips never touch the other person's skin. When you lean in, take your right hand and gently place on the other person's elbow or the outside of their forearm. We also must know how to kiss appropriately in different countries. In US we generally offer one kiss, in the UK two kisses and other EU countries - three kisses.
The Cheek Kiss and the Hug
The cheek kiss and the hug is what we do with friends, children and family.
Introductions
The introductions often follow a strict rules in terms of who we want to introduce first:
Most VIP person in the room
Most senior person
Woman's name
Do not mirror introduce. Do not say "Agnes, may I introduce you to George. George, please meet Agnes". This is because you want to give the people something to talk about. Instead you may say: "Agnes, may I introduce you to George. George recently joined our company and Agnes has been working for us for over 20 years.." This way, you do not leave them in an awkward situation not knowing where to go from there.
Dressing and grooming
Dress for the position you want and not the one you are in. You may think of yourself as a brand. You are in charge or marketing yourself. If you brand yourself as you don't care, other will not care either. By dressing yourself in a respectful manner, you are showing respect to others. When you look polished and on board, you feel powerful. You also need to live your brand, at every step. No matter whether you are going for job interview, pick your child from school, ask for promotion or to a local store to get some milk. You need to sleep and live your brand. This way you can always be prepared to anything that comes your way.
When you are going to an event, you need to dress to the venue and place you are going. Its also good to always have a "wow" piece. This could be a lovely shoes, hat or an amazing belt.
One piece of advise, from Myka Meier, from her book "Modern Etiquette Made Easy" is that on a day when you feel little down, you put on your most fabulous outfit. This will make you feel better and more confident! (At least it works for me!)
Accessories and Jewellery
When it comes to jewellery, we should not put so much on, so it becomes too flashy. Dimonds should be worn after 6 p.m. During the day we choose pearls, gemstones, silver or gold. Too much cluttered jewellery does never look good or classy, therefore we need to remain tactful with our choices. The same applied to accessories. One recommendation is to having a "statement piece", like a lovely watch or scarf. Something elegant will always be a safe bet, rather than looking cluttered.
Always prepare
When it comes to an event, we always need to be organised. The best advise, would be to prepare yourself the night before. We must prioritise ourselves and if we are always prepared we can get ahead in life. It doesn't actually require much time. 15-20 minutes (or less) the night before you go to bed. It especially help if you are not a morning person. You can prepare a night before your outfit, steam it or iron, so that it is not wrinkled. A good tip, would be also to always have an "emergency piece" in your wardrobe. It is that one perfectly put together outfit you can wear to look instantly polished and confident.
Your clothes will generally look better if these are tailored to your body shape. I am myself getting used to this idea and found a great tailor locally, who can always come around and fit my clothes so they do not feel too loose or too tight. If you squat in your trousers, and you feel like they may pop out in seconds, you know these are too tight. It feels truly amazing to know and feel like your clothes are only made for you.
Quality fabrics are also very important. Fabrics like silk, cashmere, some good quality polyester can last for many, many years, so take care of them and invest in good quality. I would rather have 3 lovely dresses with quality materials, than 15 with cheap, wrinkly and easy to torn fabrics.
One true thing is that not every day we are going to have time to put ourselves together to perfection, therefore Meier advises to always follow the 2-of-3 rule. Always have the two of three in check: Hair, Skin, Clothing. If you are running late and your hair cannot look that perfect today, make sure your skin and outfit looks "tip-top".
Another great advise is to wear the same colour shoes and belt. Also remember, the darker the suit, it is more formal. Additionally, we should be using branded items with moderation. Some people may take it as a sign of insecurities when you are wearing many and very big logos. Seems like you need to persuade the world of your worth.
Dress Codes
t is important to know and understand what the general dress codes mean:
Casual: Informal and comfortable clothing.
Business casual: No flip-flops no T-shirts. Blouse or shirt with sleeve covering shoulders would be appropriate. Skirts around the knee length or longer and no bra straps showing at any point! Man should wear a short, either buttons down or polo, than tuck in the shirt with a belt. Shorts are acceptable, if outside the business and venue allows them.
Formal: Knee-Length dress or long dress is completely appropriate for ladies. The knee length dress would be acceptable in a weeding in a garden for example, but in a wedding venue or hotel, along dress would be perfect. For man, tie, suit and a jacket.
Black tie/After 6 p.m/Very formal: For ladies long gowns, and for gentleman recommended is tuxedo with a black bow tie.
Resort, Beach, Garden party, Outdoor wedding: For ladies (my favourite) flowing feminine dresses in more weave colours and even sparkly pieces for after 5 p.m. For gentleman shirts or blazers.
Some dress codes ground rules:
Do not show too much skin. If you have open shoulders, choose longer hemline. When you have shorter hemline, choose to cover your shoulders.
Avoid leverage altogether and let people focus your personality!
Tights, stockings, hold-ups are appropriate to a formal meetings or business meetings.
Avoid old, scruffy or dirty shoes.
Bibliography:
Maier M., 2020, "Modern Etiquette Made Easy", Skyhorse Publishing, p.p 38-56
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