At the time when the UK health secretary is considering a lockdown, whether or not, we might ask ourselves what would be the responsible thing to do for Christmas. Next to being cautious and careful as much as possible, it is important that we do not forget about the etiquette, rules and the true meaning of Christmas.
During Christmas we want to make things feel very special. We want to the time to be fun and of course, surprise your guests with the most beautiful table settings and menu that they will remember!
Table decorations
I don't think it is necessary to go into too much trouble with the napkin rings. It is perfectly fine to have the napkins folded beautifully on the plates as well. There are many websites and videos showing us the art of folding napkins. I personally, like to add a piece of evergreen for a holiday setting.
Credit: Home Wiki "Napkin Folding" accessed https://home.fandom.com/wiki/Napkin_folding
There are also some rather elaborately folded napkin techniques we can learn and the process can be fun and creative.
In terms of other Christmas table decorations I would probably say that "less is more".
We want to ensure that guests have enough elbow space to comfortably enjoy their meal.
However, I am quite particular about the way the champagne is handled. The rule is not to try to pop the cork. We need to hold the bottle firmly, unscrew the wire and twist the cork rather carefully. Pour the champagne for everybody and yourself last and put in the ice bucket to chill.
Being the host
If you are hosting others, ensure that you greet everyone at the door with a warm welcome. Make small talk with them as well. This is the time, also, to display your best dishes and tableware. Ensure that you have plenty of food and activities.
Try to prepare as much as possible the day before, so that you have plenty of time to enjoy conversations with your guests.
Hosting a Christmas dinner does not have to be a stressful experience. Plan ahead and make list of everything you may need way in advance. Always prepare more than enough of food and drinks. Always ask beforehand of any dietary restrictions and make sure you have at least two food options for your guests.
Try to let go the temptation to control every little thing. Make your guests feel like home, refrain following them around and picking things up.
You should also accept offers to help. If someone wants to contribute to the preparations, find them a small task and thank for the effort.
When inviting others to your home it is lovely to have some music set to create a nice holiday atmosphere.
Some basic rules when you are hosting a dinner party:
Set your table and decor in advance.
Do not allow decorations to block the view on the other side of the table.
Try to prepare dishes ahead of time and not cooking or still preparing food when the guests arrive.
Serve children and elderly first, followed by most VIP female, other females, most VIP male and other males. Host serves themselves last.
The most VIP person sits at the right next to the host.
Do not set couples one to another unless its birthday or wedding.
Put music instead of TV during a meal.
Be over prepared with food and drinks.
Speak to gusts, ask questions and engage in conversation.
If you are host at a restaurant, you pay.
Covid considerations for hosts
Previously, it would have been very rude to ask or demand any vaccination status from guests, but now it is becoming acceptable. Some people do not accept this, but if you are inviting others to your hours, you have the right to set rules. You need to tell people in advance what the protocols would be and allow people to decline on the invitation.
Marry Killen, the etiquette expert recommend that we allow the guests to roam throughout the whole house and open as many windows as possible. You can also ask your guests for negative Covid test or even vaccination status if there will be some especially vulnerable people present. It is always good being extra careful.
Social distancing is possible at seated events, you may even consider host two separate parties to ensure distancing rules are applied.
Always ask your guests how they feel about the gathering. Some people may be worried and giving a smaller part with no signing, dancing or kissing may be a rule if too many is nervous to venture out.
Kissing protocols may need to be clarified and gently enforced.
Shared bowls of things with an opportunity for double dipping may also be reconsidered. Best to serve food without dips and dishes, appetisers loaded onto individual plates.
It might also be perfectly appropriate to ask your guests to ensure they keep their glasses at all times with them to avoid anyone drinking from someone else glass.
Have hand sanitisers and disinfecting wipes available at all times for everyone.
Table setting
The table setting should not deviate too much from the traditional rules.
Ensure that the tablecloth is perfectly ironed and clean. Use placemats if possible. For Christmas they are generally beautiful and sparkly. Ensure that they are perfectly in the centre right across each other. We start with the base plates which must be clean and crisp. The second layer, is the appetiser plates. The salad plate goes on the left hand side, and that's your plates done. Then, we position the flatware, always starting from the last course - the dinner. Knife on the right hand side and fork on the left. If you are serving soup, position the soup spoon next to the knife on the right side. Set the napkins at the centre of the plates and wine glasses on the top right side. Water glasses go on the back of wine glasses. Add some fresh flowers, candles and other details you might of prepared for table decorations in advance.
Dishes
Get the part started with delicious appetizers. From classic pigs in blankets to cranberry brie bites. Stuffed mushrooms, bacon wrapped dates or antipasto bites are perfect. Crab and prawn cocktail if you fancy something lighter.
Turkey is perfectly acceptable for the Christmas meal. But also a goose can be a real treat. Warm ham or beef wellington is a delicious choice too. In Eastern Europe the traditional Christmas dish is turkey or duck, as well as a freshwater fish: carp. As I am a pescatarian I never forget about fish for Christmas. Salt-baked salmon can be a very good choice. As well as monkfish with pine nut stuffing.
Serving a whole large fish can give Christmas a great sense of occasion on the menu.
For dessert: Christmas cookies, cakes, pies, cheesecake... you name it!
And one more thing, cocktails. Skip the boring beer this year! Holiday fun deserves festive drinks. Whether you want champagne, vodka, rum or tequila base, there is many options for you. Delish https://www.delish.com/holiday-recipes/christmas/g860/holiday-cocktails/?slide=1 has a wonderful selection of festive drinks you definitely find inspiring.
Guest rules
If you are the quest, there are also some important rules to adhere to. Firstly, and most importantly bring a gift and cheer. The holidays are about bringing fun, much more enjoyable than drinking excessively and expecting expensive gifts. It is the time to think of others, that can be very rewarding. A bottle of wine or box of chocolate is customary. However, if you are staying for the night, something more generous would be appropriate. For example a book of a favourite author or hamper. There are some lovely hamper creations we can find now in many stores.
When eating, try to pace your eating with others and speak to your neighbours during the meal. The old rule is that we speak to one person during the first course and turn the other way during the second one.
If you drop and spill something you need to clean it up as best as you can and offer to cover the cost of cleaning up.
Make yourself useful and offer help with cooking, meal preparations or cleaning. And, truly, do not expect our guest to anticipate every need you may have! Try to remain calm and kind with your interactions, even if conflict arise. Do not let your mood affect your manners.
Covid considerations for guests
Obviously, you must tell your host the result of your Covid test. It is your duty to ensure you take all precautions necessary to protect yourself and others. If you are concerned about whether masking or vaccination situation is being considered, be honest and ask. Do it politely and discreetly, say what is important to you and they will say "yes" or "no". Do not judge, comment or express your opinions, say "thank you, I will let you know and make my decision".
It is also more tactful not to post anything but shots of yourself on social media. It's also bad form to make other people jealous if they were not invited due to restrictions.
If you do not feel comfortable with attending the party, there are also polite ways to say "no". Especially now, in the middle of pandemic we all have the right to say no to parties and social gatherings. You may just call the host and say : "Thank you for the invitation. I am sorry but I can't make it". You don't need to go into the details to explain.
It also isn't rude to change your mind and decline even if you have already RSVP'd. As soon as you know that you won't be going, get in touch with the host and tell them. Just because you can't go to an event it doesn't mean you can't be appreciative and respectful towards the host.
If you attend a party and you have reached a point when other guest's behaviour is making you uncomfortable, don'y deliver a speech about why you are leaving or don't go tilting the host. It's probably best to go over, thank the host for invitation, say that you had a nice time and have to get going.
Don't forget about the purpose of Christmas
Traditionally, the Christmas season starts on the 25th of December. The days makes an official start of the 12 days of Christmas and run through the 6th of January. For Christians the meaning is to celebrate the Jesus Christ.
Christmas is the most awaited and celebrated time of the year. It is time for a great joy, cheer and celebration. Today, however, decorated Christmas trees and presents are everywhere we look. Although it may vary significantly in traditions of symbolic meanings, for many is the time of spiritual reflection on the important foundation of our life. The Christmas time is to remind us to be more giving, caring, kind and respectful.
Perhaps we can look at out holidays differently this year and take a chance to truly take in the wonder and awe of the season.
On that note, I hope you have a wonderful time. Full of joy and laughter. Wishing you all a nice, peaceful and loving time!
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