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Writer's pictureAgnes Sopel

Afternoon Tea And Cocktail Party Etiquette

Afternoon tea



Whether you are throwing your own tea party, attending an afternoon tea, there are few important rules that will make you look incredibly elegant.

For example, when holding a coffee cup, we loop our index finger through the cap handle and out our thumb on the top of the handle. As the coffee cup is heavier, we need more support through the index finger to hold it.

We hold the tea cup by pinching our index finger its out thumb and pinning middle fingers around the bottom of the handle to support it.



Here are some top rules when attending or hosting an afternoon tea:


  1. Afternoon tea is served traditionally between 3 to 5 p.m with tea, crustless sandwiches, scones and desserts. High tea is a meal served around 5 p.m and generally it is a meal dish with tea.

  2. Do not hold the saucer at the table, it stays on it throughout the afternoon tea. If you are standing you must keep your saucer and teacup together.

  3. Stir your tea from top to down, never clockwise or counterclockwise.

  4. Add only milk to your tea, never cream. Hot liquid first followed by the cold liquid.

  5. Do not drink your tea with a tea bag or leafs. Use a stainer to remove the leafs or take the bag out bu pulling the string and pass the excess water with the spoon into the cup. Do not squeeze bag with your fingers.



  1. If someone is pouting a tea for you, pass your cup and the saucer together.

  2. Enjoy sandwiches first, than scones and sweets. You can use your fingers to eat all of these. Break the scone in half put the cream first followed with jam afterwards. Do not use knife to open your scone, do it with your fingers. Break off a piece of scone you want to eat at the time, add cream and jam and enjoy.

  3. Do not put your pinky up. Not even for wine or water, coffee or tea.

Cocktail party



Here are some top rules when attending or hosting a cocktail party:


  1. Always take a cocktail napkin first followed by the appetiser.

  2. Only take one appetiser at a time

  3. When food is available on a shared plate, take one piece off the plate onto your own or napkin and than eat it.

  4. Only take appetisers which are bite sized. If you are planning a cocktail party, plan it carefully! Try not to serve food that will make others fingers greasy or too large.



  1. Try not to walk around with both drink and appetiser.

  2. Hod your glass or drink in your left hand so that right is free to greet and shake.

  3. You can balance a glass on a napkin on your plate, by holding it with your left hand. Clutch bag can also hold a drink very well.

Easy, right? If you know and always follow the above steps you are my hero. Let me know if you do? I am always open for a chat and learning more etiquette tips.

In it is something new to you, it is important however that practice is something that will make us the masters. You need to put into practice everything you learn into your daily life.

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